Falls to Ash
by UnbrokenVirginRealities
Summary: What if Edward was too late in Port Angeles?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is me new story, not as funny or light-hearted as Belonging and it deals with some really tough themes. Not for those with a weak constitution.

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BPOV

They are walking away now, laughing drunkenly.

I hurt. All over.

They all hurt me. They took turns in hurting me, laughing as they did so.

Why am I on the floor? Why is there blood?

I feel so weak. My face is pressed to the cold, damp pavement. I shiver. I almost give in to my exhaustion and pain when footsteps break into my awareness. They pass the end of the little alley I am lying in. They don't see me lying here, stripped of my dignity and self-esteem.

A car engine interrupts me again. Headlights flash. I watch as the car stops. This car is familiar, but I don't have the energy to search my far-distant memory. The driver's-side door opens and a dark figure steps out. I dimly recognize the graceful male walk, quickening impossibly to reach me. He speaks. 'Bella, oh my God, hang on, I'll get you to Carlisle.' It sounds distant, like he's down a tunnel. I slip into unconsciousness.

EPOV

She's lost so much blood.

She's broken. My girl, so clumsy and unlucky, would just happen to come across the scum of the earth in Port Angeles.

Why didn't I follow her like I thought I should? She would be safe now, with me.

She would be whole. Still happy and secure. I carry her to my car, unable to definitely say where her injuries are. I put her in the passenger seat, strap her listless body in and drive as fast as possible to Forks Hospital, worrying every second that because of my incompetence, my reason for living might die. I pick her up as soon as I've parallel- parked somewhere illegal and I fly out of the car to find Carlisle. I smell him out, aware of the urgency. I grow more panicked as the path to my father leads further and further around the hospital. Then I find him. His panicked thoughts precede me as he smells me and Bella's blood. I realise that I haven't breathed since I found her. I'm glad. Carlisle reaches me and asks 'What happened?' His face turns horrified. 'Edward, you didn't...' I realise what he is implying and shake my head. He apologises mentally, and gets her to a free room to assess the damage. She regains consciousness as his pale fingers probe lightly over her body. He touches the left side of her ribcage and a piercing scream breaks the tense silence. Her eyes wheel around the room as she breathes heavily with distress. The lovely brown eyes lock on to mine and I see straight to their depths, so full of pain. I step across the room to take her hand and Carlisle's voice cuts across me. 'Edward, we don't know the mental damage. That may not be wise.' I see what he is implying at the same time Bella looks at him to see who spoke. She whimpers in terror at the male figure. Carlisle steps back, aghast. He reaches into his bag for morphine and inserts the syringe into the vein at her elbow. She falls limp and he continues his assessment, the horror in his thoughts escalating into anger and disbelief. He tells me verbally the extent of her injuries. The horror in his golden eyes is still very much in evidence. ' Five broken ribs, minor cranial fracture, broken leg, dislocated shoulder and God knows how much psychological damage. And internal bleeding.' I hiss and clench my fists. I was going to find the scumbags responsible and make them suffer horrifically. Hell, I was even going to invite Rosalie. Carlisle interrupted me again. 'I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm going to call Charlie.'

I sat down on the nearest chair in Bella's room and waited for Carlisle.

He came back, picked her up and left the room, with firm orders for me to wait here while her treated Bella. I picked up my cellphone and dialled Rosalie's number with grim determination.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 RPOV

My phone was ringing.

I pulled myself off Emmett and flipped it open. 'Hello?'

Edward's voice greeted me. 'Rose. Can you come to the hospital please?'

I raked my hand through my hair. 'Sure. Why?'

Silence. Then a gruff 'Just get down here.' Then the line disconnected.

I stood up and put my clothes on. I kissed Emmett goodbye and left, grabbing my car keys as I went.

I thought as I drove. What could Edward possibly want with me? Alice was his favourite sister. Why was he in the hospital? I got into the carpark and noticed the scent of Bella's blood as I got out. Why the hell was I involved with this? So he could make me feel bad for not liking her? I found him in an empty room and stood before him until he took his head out of his hands and looked at me. His eyes were full of agony. Then he spoke. 'Bella was...attacked. Similar to what happened to you.' I vividly recalled the agony of that night. The men attacking me one by one. Being kicked and hit if I fought back. Being pinned against the floor...Edward's voice took me out of my memory. 'Stop, Rose, please!' I silenced my thoughts as he began to sob. 'She's being treated, Charlie's on his way and I need your help. We're going to Port Angeles.

Edward drove. He knew where he was going and I wasn't going to disturb him in his ferocious state. He parked around the back of a sleazy bar. He looked at me. 'Rose, they are suckers for an attractive woman, and I want you to lure them out here. I'll be waiting. Your considerable expertise in this subject will come in handy.' I rolled my eyes and left the car. I pulled my top down slightly and fiddled with my hair. I walked in, and there were a crowd of maybe five drunken jackasses leering at me. One wolf-whistled. I grinned and waved at them. Then, I left. That was all it took for them to stumble after me. I walked straight into the carpark and stood in front of the Volvo. They surrounded me, and Edward got out of the car. They grinned. It seemed they enjoyed a fight as much as they enjoying rape and alcohol.

I crouched and snarled. One of the men, a blonde, looked a bit like the fucker who wanted to marry me over 70 years ago, then took his wedding night liberties in front of his friends. I sprang at him, knocked him to the floor and punched him hard enough to shatter his skull into a hundred pieces. Then I broke his neck. Edward was butchering a short dark guy. Literally. The other three were backing away. I grabbed one of them and pulled his head off, then pinned down the other two for Edward. He killed them, spat on them and set fire to all of them before dumping them in a nearby skip. We got into the car and sat in silence for the whole ride back to the hospital.

EPOV

Done.

I went straight to Bella's room with Rosalie at my side. Charlie was there, holding his sedated, broken daughter's hand. He looked up when we came in and said 'You found her, Edward?' I nodded. He pinched the bridge of his nose. His thoughts were distraught. I crossed the room and whispered in his ear 'If it's any consolation, I took care of the culprits. Keep that very quiet though.' He nodded. I asked what was going to happen with Bella now.

He said, 'She's in plaster for a good few weeks now, and the internal bleeding and bruises will take longer. She's been examined by a gynaecologist, and there is severe trauma there.' His voice dropped. 'They broke her pelvis as well.' His agonised whisper cut through me. I looked at Bella's sleeping face and saw a short-lived peace there. She would wake up soon, and we would suffer along with her when she did.

As if responding to my thoughts, she stirred slightly. Her eyes twitched, then fluttered, and she let loose an ear-piercing scream. We all looked at each other, unsure how to react. Then her eyes fully opened and she looked straight at me. She whispered, panting hard. 'Edward. Make it stop, please make it stop.' Her brown eyes began to flow with tears, down her bruised cheeks and on to her hospital gown. I took her hand and stroked it as gently as possible. 'I'm here. It's OK, I'm here, love.' She relaxed at my cold touch, though I thought she would flinch away. Her breathing slowed, and her eyes closed again She whispered 'Edward.' then fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

EPOV

All of my family came to visit Bella at one point or another, except Jasper. Carlisle was attending her, so he came regularly. I stayed often as possible and Alice kept me company. Rosalie had gotten over her resentment and came in every other day. Emmett visited occasionally over the three weeks she was in hospital, always managing to appear when she was conscious to make her laugh. She was so brave. None of them except Alice tended to stay during the night when her real fear was unveiled and she didn't keep up her strong facade.

She was in such pain, not as much physically as mentally. She would wake up in floods of tears or hyperventilating. She calmed down when she saw me sitting next to her as always. She would shout and struggle against her nightmares and then at the end she would inadvertently rip me to pieces by whispering 'Edward...why aren't you here?'

I didn't know how the hell I was going to make it up to her, but I was definitely going to try.

The day Charlie took her home was the hardest, after finding her broken and hurt. She had all her IVs removed and slowly got up and hobbled into a wheelchair. She saw the shock on my face and said ' You are going to visit, aren't you?'

I rearranged my features into a small smile and said 'Yes. Of course I will.' She smiled and allowed Charlie to wheel her out. My legs felt unsteady beneath me and I sat down. I looked at Alice who stood by the arm of the chair.' Alice, help me. I don't know how to fix her. I don't know what I can do to make this better. She's broken physically, she blames me internally for not saving her and she's got to be damaged mentally as well.' Alice pursed her lips and observed me, cocking her head to one side. She sighed and said 'Talk to her. Look for tips about helping victims on the Internet and have a long, therapist-style talk with her. If she seems bad then recommend she sees a _trained _therapist and help her through it. Most of all be honest with her, show her you can be trusted and generally be there if she needs to talk. Oh,'- she paused and her eyes unfocused-' take her flowers as well.' She grinned and took my hand, pulling me out of the chair with surprising strength.' Let's go home. I'll help you and her as much as possible. She's hurting so much and she needs you. That much I can see.'

BPOV

Charlie was never going to be nurse material.

I was in bed reading, and he poked his head in to check on me for the twelfth time in 2 hours. 'You need anything, Bells? Just let me know.' He backed out of the room with a worried expression. I was eating enough, and the only time he ever saw the true fucked-up state of my mind was when I screamed in my sleep.

I hadn't spoken about that night to anyone. Not even Edward, who saw the aftermath. Not Carlisle, who saw the extent of my wounds and treated them,and not Renee, who would worry and come back to Forks despite spending a week up here apologising and trying to get me to move to Jacksonville with no avail.

A knock at my door pulled me out of my reverie. I didn't even bother to look up. 'Dad, really, I'm fine. You don't need to check up on me so often.'

'Since when was I Charlie?' A velvet voice answered me. I looked up at the bronze-haired idol standing at my doorway holding an enormous bunch of white lilies and freesias. I scrambled upright and said 'Come in.' He stepped in gracefully and handed me the flowers. 'Call it a get-well-soon gift from the Cullens. Alice says hi as well.'

I grinned. 'Hi back..' He picked up the rocking chair and sat it by my bed so it was facing me, and sat down. ' Bella, we haven't spoke privately since before the incident. I think we should.'


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

BPOV

Oh God. Here we go.

I wasn't expecting to have this talk yet. I was even debating the possibility of it actually happening. How foolish. Of course it would. He waited patiently for me to begin. I cleared my throat. 'Um. OK. What would you like to talk about?' As if i didn't already know. Fuck. He leaned back into the chair. He spoke after a seemingly interminable silence. 'How are your injuries healing?' I nodded. 'As well as possible, Carlisle says. I'm not in as much pain and the bruises are fading.' A slight frown disrupted his features. 'That's not what i meant. Carlisle keeps me updated on your physical status. I meant mentally.'

I treaded carefully around this subject. 'It's.....difficult. I don't want to speak to a psychiatrist. I'm not crazy. Time will help, as will taking my mind off it.'

He looked me square in the eye. 'Bella, if I've learned one thing, it's that bottling things up never helps. It's presumptuous of me, but I hope I can help you.' I took a deep breath before I spilled everything. Why would this perfect specimen, whether responsible for saving me or not, have any interest in me whatsoever, let alone want to help? I decided how best to word my answer.

'It's very considerate of you, but you have a life and-and a family who aren't fucked up and bed-bound because of their irresponsibility. Don't feel you have to help me.' I had burst into tears halfway through and Edward reached towards me, then thought better of it.

Then Edward said something that completely shocked me.

"Bella, I'm not trying to help because I think I have to. I'm doing it because I want to. And because I think I can help."

I took another deep breath. "OK. Thank you. You really want to help?"

He nodded, an expression of sorrow in his bottomless eyes.

"Right. You want to know how I'm doing? I have nightmares that are as vivid as the actual event. It starts, and I'm walking down that alley, and I know what's coming next. But I can't stop. I hear those footsteps that chill me to my core. And then they close in. The fear chokes me so bad, I can't breathe. I see the dead end, and I know I'm trapped. One of them grabs me, and slams me up against the wall. His friends laugh, and I can smell the beer on his breath. He describes in detail what's going to happen to me, and everything he says happens. Then I see them walk away laughing. And I wait for you to come and save me. And I wait, and wait, and then you come and I can wake up. The nightmare won't let go until you're there. I say, as I'm lying there 'Edward, why aren't you here?' Because no matter how bad that night was, you saved me. I would have died without you."

Edward's jaw dropped a lttle further, and I saw the guilt in his eyes and wondered at it. He dropped his head. "I'm so sorry, Bella, I should have came sooner. If I'd have done as my instincts told me, you would still be safe and whole. You wouldn't be injured and scarred. It's all my fault, Bella, and I'm so very sorry."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Edward, it's _not_ your fault! You didn't attack me! You didn't leave me for dead, quite the opposite, in fact! Don't blame yourself. You saved me, and I'm so grateful for that. I don't understand why you care so much about me, but I'm very glad you do."

Edward looked amazed and very sad at the same time. "You don't understand why I care so much about you? Bella, you are without exception, the most beautiful person I have the privilege to know, inside and out."

I shook my head, the tears returning. "I'm not. I'm clumsy, I'm broken and I'm scarred. I'm nothing _special_. I'm less than ordinary. I'm a clumsier version of the average teenage girl, with no chance at a normal life anymore. Don't waste your time with me anymore. Every girl in the school wants you. They're better than me."

Edward looked angry now. "How can you...No, Bella, they aren't better. They're silly and shallow, and boring. You're selfless, and beautiful and adorable in every way. I love you, Bella."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I am so sorry to the people who like and read my stories, that it has taken me this long to update, but I've been so busy lately. Again sorry and here is chapter 5.

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EPOV

I was very, very confused. Shouldn't Bella have been happy that I loved her? As soon as the words were out of my mouth, her eyes filled with tears and she buried her face in her hands. When her head reappeared, she shook her head vigorously, and said, much to my surprise, "Why, Edward? What is there to love about me? I'm a thorn in your side, and I owe you my life. I'm unworthy of you. I know what you are. I'm _human,_ which is inadequate enough, and I'm a broken mess, inside and out. What could someone like you _possibly _love about someone like me?"

I was stunned. If anything, I was unworthy of her. Her goodness, her sheer beauty that shone through everywhere was something a soulless abomination like me was unworthy of. I crossed the room in a stride and took her wrists in my hands, and gently lowered them back into her lap. "Bella. I love you because you're beautiful, and a good person, and selfless and endearing. You awe me with everything you do, and you never fail to surprise me. You're such a fighter. You're so very, very brave. I love you, more than you could ever know."

She shook her head. I took her face in my hands and forced those tortured brown eyes to look at me. She stared at me with an expression of abject misery. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against her forehead. To my shock, she wrapped her arms around my neck. I sat down on the bed next to her and took her in my arms, where she wept with the sadness of her situation. I put my lips to her ear and whispered, "Love you, Bella. I'll do whatever it takes to help you."

We sat like that for ages, until Bella fell asleep. I put her under her quilt and crept quietly out of the room. Halfway down the stairs, a heart-rending whimper of despair came from her room. I darted back into her room and took her hand. She was muttering "Edward...Edward, where are you?" I moved my hand to her face and stroked along her cheekbone. Her whimpers grew quieter and she woke up. She was still breathing heavily, and she looked straight in my face and instantly calmed down. "You're still here. I thought I heard you leave." she whispered. I smiled. "I was going, but you were talking, so I came back."

She blushed and looked down. "Same dream again. I wonder if it will ever go away." I shrugged. " I don't know, Bella, but I'll look for ways to help you."

She smiled. "Thanks, Edward." She shifted, and winced. "Are you alright, Bella?" I asked. She looked up and shrugged. I wondered how she could be so indifferent about her pain.

Then I had an idea. "Bella, do you mind if I leave? I have something I need to do."

She motioned for me to go ahead. "See you, Edward."

"Bye, Bella. Love you."

"Love you too."

That made my useless existence bearable.

BPOV

Edward left then, and I returned to my book, occasionally stealing a glance at the beautiful flowers the Cullens had given me. I couldn't believe Edward loved me, pathetic and broken as I was. I loved him so much, he was my saviour and the reason for my living. However, as good a mood as I was in, that night came back to haunt me in one way or another. I realised that I would never be able to do with Edward what those men had taken from me. I was too scarred, and the memories would haunt me, no matter who it was that I was doing that with. It was not the physical that was the issue, it was the mental. My body responded whenever he was in the room, but my mind shied away from those kinds of thoughts.

Then there was a gentle rap on the door. Edward hadn't been gone ten minutes and Rosalie was already here. "Can I come in?" came the tentative voice of an angel. I composed my features and managed "Yeah, sure."

She stepped gracefully into the room, and perched on the edge of the bed.

"I haven't really spoke to you, but I know how it feels, though my time suffering was much briefer. I went through what you went through. My fiance and his friends did to me what those men did to you. Carlisle found me on the brink of death, and changed me. It was all I thought about at the start of my vampire life and it consumed me. It's horrific, I know. But you have Edward, and you can pull through this, I know it. I will help in whatever way I can, being more experienced with this than my dear brother."

I took a deep breath. "Thanks, Rosalie. I'll bear that in mind."

She smiled. "He loves you so much. He's hardly been in the house, and when he does speak, it's always about you."

So it was true then. I still thought it was just friendly concern, but Rosalie didn't think so.

One thing was true though. I loved him. Then I said "Rosalie, how did you get over it?"

Her face suddenly filled with mischievous pleasure and she said "I killed the culprits."

I was shocked. "Really?!"

She grinned again. "Yes. Don't recommend you trying that though."

I bowed my head against the wave of paranoia. "That's one of the worries I have. I always think they're gonna come back for me, and fuck my life up more." I didn't usually swear, but revealing my deepest worries did that to me.

Rosalie stared at me in disbelief. "Didn't Edward tell you?" she whispered.

I shook my head, mystified.

"Bella, Edward and I killed those bastards as soon as you were admitted to hospital." she said in a slightly stronger voice. I stared at her. If Edward had told me this, I wouldn't have worried as much.

Then I thought; If Edward loved me, he would have wanted to protect me. And he would have wanted to get revenge on those men.

Edward Cullen _did_ love me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I apologise to everyone who reads my stuff for not updating for about 4 months. I have been SO BUSY.**

**Anyways, have a dose of Chapter 6. I'm sorry if it's ropey, I'm out of practice.**

Chapter 6 : RPOV

I ran home, through the ever-present rain and forests. Edward appeared as soon as I entered the house and demanded to know how Bella was.

"Fine. Seemed to be coping, but I don't know her as well as you. I'm no judge, really."

Edward huffed. "I'll go see her tonight. I seem like a stalker, don't I?"

"Crazy and obsessive." Emmett intoned from the kitchen.

"Thanks so much for your input, monkey-boy. I'll see you lot later, I'm..." Edward's voice faded out as he wandered out to his car looking very much like a lost soul. I went through to the kitchen to see what Emmett was up to. He looked up as I walked in, and greeted me with "Hey." accompanied with an ear-splitting grin. "Hi. What _are _you doing, you crazy fool?!" Emmett put the wok full of what looked like game console controls down and turned the cooker off. "I...um...well, its hard to explain..."

"Give it your best shot. That's Jasper's new Xbox Elite!"

"He kinda pissed me off. He stole my Wii, then managed to break CoD 6 ."

"Right. God I don't know why I get involved."

"Hey, Rosie...What's up?" The use of his pet name for me softened my foul mood somewhat.

"Oh...nothing really. I just feel guilty for judging Bella, and I told her...what happened to me. I hate reliving it."

"I'm sorry, honey. That sucks. C'mere, you." He enfolded me in his massive bear hug, and his familiar scent soothed me.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"Edward really loves Bella, doesn't he?"

"He hasn't said it in those exact terms, but yeah, pretty much."

EPOV

I grabbed the windowsill and pulled myself up so I was crouching on the narrow wooden ledge. I eased my fingernails under the window and gently prised it open and swung soundlessly into the room. I looked at the narrow bed and saw Bella entangled in her covers, an expression of horror on her sleeping face. "No...no! Don't! Get off me, get off me! Oh God, no, please no! Get off me!" I was torn in half by her pitiful, despairing whimpers as her subconscious relived the horror of the night that I failed her. I crossed the room in a stride and sat on the edge of the bed, watching, unsure of what to do. I brushed the hair off her face, and her sleep-talking faded to mumbling. I slid down on the bed beside her. I put an arm around her waist and another around her shoulders, and pulled her against me, cradling her like a baby. Her talking ceased, and her body released its tension.

I felt so much love for the wounded, brave girl lying on my body, her head tucked against my chest with her dark hair spilling on to the mattress. I laid my head on hers, smelling her smell and her favourite strawberry shampoo. We lay like that until I saw the first rays of dawn radiate through the curtains, then I gently moved her and tucked the quilt over her. She woke up and looked straight at me. "Umm....hi, Bella."

"Edward.. what you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. You were having a nightmare so I stayed with you, and the rest is history, as they say."

"Oh right...thanks. Yeah, I wondered why you were in my dream."

"Was I? Should I be concerned?"

She laughed at that. "No,you came into my dream and it just ended. It was just you and me in your car after that."

I sat down on the end of the bed." What happened in the car?"

She blushed. "Nothing really, we were just...talking." She toyed with the edge of the comforter as she said this, and refused to meet my eyes. I scooted closer and put my hand under her chin, and pulled her face up. "You sure about that?"

She grinned. "Sure." I scooted closer again. "Absolutely sure?" Her heartbeat jumped and she gulped. "Very sure." she whispered. She fixed her eyes on my mouth and her heartbeat stuttered erratically again. I leaned closer, and fixed my eyes on hers. She swallowed, hard.

I closed the final gap and kissed her, and she fisted her hand in my hair and kissed me back. Then, her heartbeat sped up and she started breathing fast. She pushed against my shoulder and I moved away at once. She took a deep breath. And another. Then "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't think I'm ready. I'm still not...over it."

I stood up.I looked in her face and understood the struggle she was going through. Then, I cursed myself for a fool. What a stupid thing to do, considering what she'd been through! I said, shame and guilt evident in my tone, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have realised. I won't do that again."

Bella looked up at me, and pulled me to sit down again. "I don't mean it was...bad, just that with my current state of mind, I'm not ready to feel that way physically about someone, and I'm not ready for the...well..._sensations_, I suppose."

I grinned. Might as well make a joke of it."Oh, so it's not that you abhor my kissing skills then?"

Bella laughed. "Far from it."

I turned serious again "I am sorry, Bella. I wont do it again until you're totally ready. I've got to go now. I'll come round later if you want?"

Bella relaxed against the pillow. "Yeah, please do."

"I love you, Bella"

"I love you too."

I grinned at her one last time before diving out of the window and running home. _Now_ there was a way I could help."


End file.
